Diary of a Pirate Lass

...en al die tijd dacht ik dat ik niet leuk was, misschien zelfs lelijk. En nu denk ik .. fuck, die (Nederlandse) jongens zijn gewoon ontzettend idioot en dom :) 

"I'm pretty, I'm smart, i'm funny,.. i'm a catch!"

Als ik Charlotte even mag quoten :=)

Current Location: Room 2
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: quietness for once

sometimes words cannot describe the emotions of excitement, gratefulness, friendship, fear and love, hence we have perfect symbols for them :)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Current Mood: <3

Van Springlevend naar Morsdood
Je bouwt iets op om het uiteindelijk toch weer te verlaten
hoe kun je in godsnaam de Dood accepteren ?

I know I can't. This'll probably be the beginning of days/nights thinking about death and how I will not be able to accept it. It is scary, it is odd, it is illogical in my head.
Why can't we just fade? Fading is much better. You see it coming, see it happening, it would be so much better to eventually turn into a spirit or a ghost slowly so that the people you love actually know and have proof that you are still around..

Damnit why doesn't this earth go according to my schedule plans or ideas? :p

Current Mood: scared

I CANT FUCKING EXPLAIN WHAT KIND OF A MELTING POT AMERICA IS, OKAY?!?!?!?!

Current Location: Hell
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: Take home examshit

Situation: There is a vampire locked up in the bathroom
Mike: "I know what to do, we need to get a stake and pierce it through his heart!"
Neil: "I'll go see if we have one!" *runs downstairs and opens the fridge* "Oh noo, we don't have steak, all we have is this vegetarian sausage :( :( " *holds up mini sausage*

=) =) I'm easily amused

Current Location: hoooooome
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: The Young Ones

I'm afraid I forgot what it feels like to be really happy inside, it's been a while I guess.

Current Mood: numb

I adore Ready Steady Cook.
I want to be in the audience one day =)
My bucket list keeps growing
Hurray

Current Mood: unacomplished
Current Music: John Williams - classical music stuff..

Drake Bell is hot
I need a guy like that
he's even hotter when he plays the guitar (a)
I shall move to the US and find me a Drake Bell

Other important knews of today:
My hometown was in a gameshow tonight
I saw a friend at the AppieHein XL
the AHXL scares me and I shall never go to that gigantic place ever again
Wanted to exercise for two hours in a row
turns out the USC will text you when the teacher is ill
we're gonna do sportgames on wednesday then
I randomly bought the virgin suicides while I was waiting for the bus
and it turns out I have more money to buy dvd's!
I dread tomorrows last class
busses scare me as of now
I have a gradeslist going with my P .. which is odd and strangely highschoolish
I'm going to watch some more videoclips of Drake Bell, then America's next top model will entertain me, and perhaps I'll read some locust

Current Mood: Crazyness

"What is it with people nowadays becoming friends with their ex? I'm more of a .. we didn't work out I need you to not exist kinda person"

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed, they have to run free, until someone comes along to run with them" 

"Some romances are not epic stories, they remain short stories"

hmm how can you not LOVE Sex and the City? it's inspiring, fun, encouraging :) 

 

Current Location: kamertje
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: Whitney Houston..

 I hate waking up like this.
Heavy,clouds in my head, louzy, useless.. worthless :-/
Crying again.., where's the fun in that ?

Something happened after friday, cause appearantly he lost interest, nothing bad happened after friday ... how can you nog blame yourself and wonder whatever you did wrong ?

*sigh* I don't want to do anything right now cept disappear

And for a tiny second there I thought I had found love...
boy was I wrong

And I can't believe I'm sitting here, crying, wondering what's wrong.

Because nothing is, if I can be so bloody stuck-up for a minute. I've been dieting for five weeks now, I thought I looked okay, I tried to look my best that night and I think I did, we kissed, which has to be a good sign..
my textmessages were funny and flirtatious but definitly not I-wanna-marry-you-shit... 
I didn't talk to him for a few days, not since friday, so I'm not needy or greedy...

Why do I keep living in this dream world ? Why does everyone around me know that nightclub people aren't boyfriendmaterial or that one good night does not lead to a relationship ? Why do I hope so much even when I've already given up ? 
he's just another 'sign' that me and relationships might not ever happen...


Or perhaps he's just the nerd he is and doesn't recognize something good when it's kissing him .... !

Do's:
- be funny
- be charming
- look pretty
- talk
- make him want to kiss you
- ask how long he's lived here yet
- ask about his favorite films
- do not get a black out
- remember all kinds of things to talk about
- ask him about his week-plans
- tell him about my interesting plans :p
- breath :p

Dont's:
- be too witty
- let awkward silences get to you
- talk 24/7 to avoid awkward silences
- talk about parents
- tell him about my nosedropaddiction
- tell any other emberassing stories lol
- look nervous 
- talk too much about me haha

Current Mood: nervous

I actually remembered today that we once went into a toilet-museum which was believed to be a mini-rollercoaster :D gosh, I couldn't stop laughing :D

Hoe weet je ook alweer dat je verliefd bent ?
Is it the memories I keep having of last night ?
Is it hearing your name, which makes me blush?
Or seeing you, looking into those eyes and feeling something warm up inside my tummy?
Is it your touch releasing the butterflies ?
Or the way you kept glancing at me every other second ?

But perhaps and most likely the four letter word popped up when I saw you smooching with another girl on the dancefloor. jealousy? no doubt. Longing? absolutely. It shouldn't be her, but me...Now I just gotta show my fightingskills....and upgrade them first :p

Current Location: Back to Stadskanaal
Current Mood: crushed,anxious,butterflies...
Current Music: Nightwish - Beauty of the beast

The dreamer and the wine
Poet without a rhyme
A widow writer torn apart by chains of Hell

Today, in the year of our Lord, 2005
Tuomas was called from the cares of the world
He stopped crying at the end of each beautiful day.
The music he wrote had too long been without silence.
He was found naked and dead,
With a smile in his face, a pen and 1000 pages of erased text

Everyone must bury their own
No pack to bury the heart of stone
Now he`s home in hell, serves him well
Slain by the bell, tolling for his farewell

Be still, my son
You`re home
Oh when did you become so cold?
The blade will keep on descending
All you need is to feel my love

The year 2005, the year when Nightwish split up. Is this what he means by the lyrics of this song ? If so.. then gosh I admire him even more for his great skills. Eventhough he was the jerk who fired Tarja this song shows part of his suffering does it not ?
one thousand pages of erased texts ... his history of songs sung by Tarja ? Now he's home in hell, serves him well, the reaction of angry people around him ? A widow writer who lost his female muse and translator?

Current Mood: touched
Current Music: Nightwish

Bridget Jones: [diary] Have never been happier in entire life. However, must not obsess or fantasize.
[pause]
Bridget Jones: Bridget Darcy; Mrs. Darcy; Mr. and Mrs. Darcy; Lord and Lady Darcy!

Current Location: Home sweet home
Current Mood: giddy

God is waving handsome, cool,funny,,witty guys in front of my nose


and I can't have them :( :( :( :( :(

Even over something as stupid as this I feel confused.
What the fuck is wrong with me ? People don't just pass out do they ?
Why wasn't I able to keep it under control ?
I need to have control all the time and blacking out does not fit me.
I feel terrible for this and I don't even know the reason for it happening.
someone give me my sense back.

Current Mood: Lightheaded

Pez Emiletjes are cute, I want subways :D , going out in a period I really really shouldnt, wondering what to wear, The wench is back in Tortuga ;D tiiiiiiiiiiired

Current Mood: crazy

I'm not sure who's more crazy, me watching the videos of what he wanted to do to his schoolmates or him actually going through with his plan..

Current Mood: Disgusted by 'humanity'